Greetings!
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See you over there...
Valerie Love
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Stuff Management Process
The other day I was conducting a coaching call with a client when it struck me that most people who have succeeded to a great degree have a Stuff Management Process.
What's that? To me, a Stuff Management Process (SMP) is a technical term for:
1. Learning what keeps me from moving forward (hereby known as 'my stuff')
2. Owning 'my stuff' (not blaming my lack of success on my mate, my parents, my kids, the dog, the cat...)
3. Making the decision to do something about 'my stuff' (no choice is still a choice)
4. Actually creating & implementing systems to manage 'my stuff' whenever it rears its ugly head (i.e. - creating a SMP)
So, with that said, what's a Stuff Management Process?
Before I answer that, let's talk a little more about 'stuff'.
I love Cher. To me, she's an icon. When she steps on stage she's the epitome of poise and confidence. So I was rather shocked to hear her say, at 61 years of age, that she still has stage fright and freaks out just before she takes the stage. She's now performing in Vegas in a huge auditorium and gets the shakes just before she goes on.
That's stuff.
Stuff is anything that:
Now, what happens in Cher's case is that she has a friend who's been with her for years who slaps her (not really) and kicks her out onto the stage. The friend told Cher "If God didn't want you to be doing this, He never would have pointed at you in your bassinet and said "Sequins!"
Cher's friend helps set her mind right for getting out on stage by reminding her of her authentic greatness and her natural talent and ability--which she's worked hard at for decades--earning her the right to be on stage.
Whether she knows it or not, Cher's friend is part of Cher's Stuff Management Process. When Cher's stuff comes up, the friend helps her manage it. Cher then puts her stuff aside and steps out on stage to deliver an amazing performance. Every time.
That's what a SMP can do for you. It allows you to put your stuff aside so you can do the amazing.
Let's be real, everyone has stuff. It's a human thing. Gotta love it. The key is to not be over-run, paralyzed, neutralized or slowed down by your stuff. A Stuff Management Process allows you to shine in spite of your stuff, no matter how much of it you have.
Some stuff will go away after we've gained experience, which breeds confidence. Other stuff will go away when we discover that it's a flat out lie (most of us lie to ourselves on a regular basis--every I can't, don't know, wouldn't, shouldn't is a lie). Some stuff never goes away. The key is to manage it effectively in order to achieve high success.
I've got some stuff that's been hanging around for years, whereas when I look back my old journals, I see I've worked through lots of stuff and have forgotten it. If it's still there, its effects are negligible.
Here are 7 components you can use to create a Stuff Management Process that's effective enough to breed high success:
1. Get a coach. Accountability is a huge stuff eliminator. When there's something we really, really, really want, and we're willing to do what it takes to bring it into reality, accountability is a good thing. When we're trying to force ourselves to fulfill a 'should' that doesn't touch core passions, accountability is a pain. Don't get accountability to do the things you think you should be doing, get accountability to do the things you're passionate about and truly desire to do. There's a huge difference.
2. Get a really honest friend (who's also successful) who loves you enough to tell you the truth. Cher's backstage friend is the perfect example. She's been with Cher for years, is honest enough to tell her the truth and is willing to give her the figurative slap in the face she needs to step into her greatness. The reason you want the person who fills this role to be highly successful is because you want someone who's personally demonstrated a commitment to success so they can support you in being committed to your own success. Besides, they won't be threatened by your gifts and potential. They want only the best for you, which is whatever level of success you desire to achieve.
3. Start writing. Sit down and write down your goals. Write down everything you want. I know you've heard this a 7,000 times, and here it is again. It's surprising to me, as a coach, just how many people have no clear idea of what they want, because they haven't taken the time to work through their desires on paper. This process is like cooking in the reverse. When everything stays in your head, it's a pot of stew with all the ingredients mixed together. When you put your ideas on paper, you can begin to take the idea apart and see the essential ingredients necessary for your recipe. Don't keep your goals in your head, write them down. The simple act of writing it all down is so powerful because it moves your desires from the the invisible realm of thought to the manifest world of form. It becomes an invaluable first step in the creation process, and you'll notice forward momentum in spite of your stuff.
4. Set Powerful Intentions. What's a powerful intention? It's an emphatic statement to the universe of what you're going for and of what you desire to experience. (In another post, I'll offer some of my intention statements.) Intention statements clarify in your mind why you're doing what you're doing. When you take the time to craft an intention statement, you're taking the time to give attention to what you're expecting out of the experience. Knowing why you're doing something is critical for success. Once again, it's got to be fueled by passions. That's what moves you through (and past) all your stuff, the passionate desire and intention to create something great.
5. Create Affirmations. I know you've heard this one 7,000 times too, but I'm saying it again. Affirmations re-shape the subconscious mind. It has the same effect as a mantra. When something is repeated over and over and over and over and over and over again, the conscious mind shuts down and the words can then sink down into the subconscious mind, where immense power lies. Tony Robbins called it the sleeping giant. Your affirmative words will wake the giant and get it moving. Once your giant is awakened and moving, stuff runs out of the way. (In another post I'll share some of my affirmations and the effects they've had.) For example, stating: I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can is powerful. Even saying: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes louder and louder each time is transforming and clears out stuff.
6. Flooding. Flood your mind with positive messages, inspirational stories and tales of folks who have accomplished success to a super-human and super-natural degree. Flood your consciousness with information and inspiration that proves to the dis-believing part of your mind that you can create super-human results too. (More on the process of Flooding, along with step-by-step instructions in a post later this week.)
7. Pray. Everything changes and shifts when we pray. I read a great quote the other day from Science of Mind, written by Ernest Holmes: "Prayer does something to the mind of the one praying." Make no mistake, God doesn't need you to pray to Her. She's good. She'll live without your prayers. However, you need prayer to get past your stuff.
So there you have it, 7 components you can add to your own Stuff Management Process. There are an infinite number of ways to clear stuff, or move past it. It doesn't matter what you use, as long as it's effective for you. One person's SMP may not be effective for the next person. Be creative.
Do learn to manage your stuff. It will make the difference between a life of mediocrity riddled with regret and what-if's, and a life of high success characterized by fulfillment, immense joy and deep gratitude for being able to move past stuff and create the miraculous.
Remember the four steps at the outset: know your stuff, own your stuff, decide to do something about your stuff, then create and implement a plan and process to consistently move past your stuff.
It works!
Blessings for your high success,
Valerie Love
What's that? To me, a Stuff Management Process (SMP) is a technical term for:
1. Learning what keeps me from moving forward (hereby known as 'my stuff')
2. Owning 'my stuff' (not blaming my lack of success on my mate, my parents, my kids, the dog, the cat...)
3. Making the decision to do something about 'my stuff' (no choice is still a choice)
4. Actually creating & implementing systems to manage 'my stuff' whenever it rears its ugly head (i.e. - creating a SMP)
So, with that said, what's a Stuff Management Process?
Before I answer that, let's talk a little more about 'stuff'.
I love Cher. To me, she's an icon. When she steps on stage she's the epitome of poise and confidence. So I was rather shocked to hear her say, at 61 years of age, that she still has stage fright and freaks out just before she takes the stage. She's now performing in Vegas in a huge auditorium and gets the shakes just before she goes on.
That's stuff.
Stuff is anything that:
- keeps you from your authentic greatness
- tries to undermine your usefulness or value
- makes you think you don't know or can't do it
- makes you feel stuck or paralyzed
- keeps you in little-ness
- neutralizes your power
Now, what happens in Cher's case is that she has a friend who's been with her for years who slaps her (not really) and kicks her out onto the stage. The friend told Cher "If God didn't want you to be doing this, He never would have pointed at you in your bassinet and said "Sequins!"
Cher's friend helps set her mind right for getting out on stage by reminding her of her authentic greatness and her natural talent and ability--which she's worked hard at for decades--earning her the right to be on stage.
Whether she knows it or not, Cher's friend is part of Cher's Stuff Management Process. When Cher's stuff comes up, the friend helps her manage it. Cher then puts her stuff aside and steps out on stage to deliver an amazing performance. Every time.
That's what a SMP can do for you. It allows you to put your stuff aside so you can do the amazing.
Let's be real, everyone has stuff. It's a human thing. Gotta love it. The key is to not be over-run, paralyzed, neutralized or slowed down by your stuff. A Stuff Management Process allows you to shine in spite of your stuff, no matter how much of it you have.
Some stuff will go away after we've gained experience, which breeds confidence. Other stuff will go away when we discover that it's a flat out lie (most of us lie to ourselves on a regular basis--every I can't, don't know, wouldn't, shouldn't is a lie). Some stuff never goes away. The key is to manage it effectively in order to achieve high success.
I've got some stuff that's been hanging around for years, whereas when I look back my old journals, I see I've worked through lots of stuff and have forgotten it. If it's still there, its effects are negligible.
Here are 7 components you can use to create a Stuff Management Process that's effective enough to breed high success:
1. Get a coach. Accountability is a huge stuff eliminator. When there's something we really, really, really want, and we're willing to do what it takes to bring it into reality, accountability is a good thing. When we're trying to force ourselves to fulfill a 'should' that doesn't touch core passions, accountability is a pain. Don't get accountability to do the things you think you should be doing, get accountability to do the things you're passionate about and truly desire to do. There's a huge difference.
2. Get a really honest friend (who's also successful) who loves you enough to tell you the truth. Cher's backstage friend is the perfect example. She's been with Cher for years, is honest enough to tell her the truth and is willing to give her the figurative slap in the face she needs to step into her greatness. The reason you want the person who fills this role to be highly successful is because you want someone who's personally demonstrated a commitment to success so they can support you in being committed to your own success. Besides, they won't be threatened by your gifts and potential. They want only the best for you, which is whatever level of success you desire to achieve.
3. Start writing. Sit down and write down your goals. Write down everything you want. I know you've heard this a 7,000 times, and here it is again. It's surprising to me, as a coach, just how many people have no clear idea of what they want, because they haven't taken the time to work through their desires on paper. This process is like cooking in the reverse. When everything stays in your head, it's a pot of stew with all the ingredients mixed together. When you put your ideas on paper, you can begin to take the idea apart and see the essential ingredients necessary for your recipe. Don't keep your goals in your head, write them down. The simple act of writing it all down is so powerful because it moves your desires from the the invisible realm of thought to the manifest world of form. It becomes an invaluable first step in the creation process, and you'll notice forward momentum in spite of your stuff.
4. Set Powerful Intentions. What's a powerful intention? It's an emphatic statement to the universe of what you're going for and of what you desire to experience. (In another post, I'll offer some of my intention statements.) Intention statements clarify in your mind why you're doing what you're doing. When you take the time to craft an intention statement, you're taking the time to give attention to what you're expecting out of the experience. Knowing why you're doing something is critical for success. Once again, it's got to be fueled by passions. That's what moves you through (and past) all your stuff, the passionate desire and intention to create something great.
5. Create Affirmations. I know you've heard this one 7,000 times too, but I'm saying it again. Affirmations re-shape the subconscious mind. It has the same effect as a mantra. When something is repeated over and over and over and over and over and over again, the conscious mind shuts down and the words can then sink down into the subconscious mind, where immense power lies. Tony Robbins called it the sleeping giant. Your affirmative words will wake the giant and get it moving. Once your giant is awakened and moving, stuff runs out of the way. (In another post I'll share some of my affirmations and the effects they've had.) For example, stating: I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can, I Can is powerful. Even saying: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes louder and louder each time is transforming and clears out stuff.
6. Flooding. Flood your mind with positive messages, inspirational stories and tales of folks who have accomplished success to a super-human and super-natural degree. Flood your consciousness with information and inspiration that proves to the dis-believing part of your mind that you can create super-human results too. (More on the process of Flooding, along with step-by-step instructions in a post later this week.)
7. Pray. Everything changes and shifts when we pray. I read a great quote the other day from Science of Mind, written by Ernest Holmes: "Prayer does something to the mind of the one praying." Make no mistake, God doesn't need you to pray to Her. She's good. She'll live without your prayers. However, you need prayer to get past your stuff.
So there you have it, 7 components you can add to your own Stuff Management Process. There are an infinite number of ways to clear stuff, or move past it. It doesn't matter what you use, as long as it's effective for you. One person's SMP may not be effective for the next person. Be creative.
Do learn to manage your stuff. It will make the difference between a life of mediocrity riddled with regret and what-if's, and a life of high success characterized by fulfillment, immense joy and deep gratitude for being able to move past stuff and create the miraculous.
Remember the four steps at the outset: know your stuff, own your stuff, decide to do something about your stuff, then create and implement a plan and process to consistently move past your stuff.
It works!
Blessings for your high success,
Valerie Love
Friday, August 1, 2008
Sitting before a coffin
Today was the home going service for Alphonso, a dear friend's husband. It was a beautiful service. What struck me most were the words used to describe Alphonso. I didn't know him well, yet, by the time the service was concluded, I felt so much closer to this compassionate human being. Here's what was said about him:
The comments were consistent from everyone who spoke about him; family, friends, co-workers and the health ministry at church. They all said the same things, while those who knew him nodded their heads in agreement.
This man was a kind, compassionate, confident, humble and gifted healer.
He lived well.
The pastor who conducted the service spoke of Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In that work, Dr. Covey asks us to picture the day we will be eulogized. The exercise is sobering, especially when sitting before a coffin.
What will people say about you when you're gone?
Dr. Covey's point in offering the exercise is that there is often a great divide between what we hold as important and what we actually do on a daily basis. You may say that living on purpose is important to you, yet you work at a job that's far removed from doing what you love. There's little lasting satisfaction in that, which is how most folks live.
Sitting before a coffin is at once life-affirming and thought-provoking.
In my book, I write about a story I read a while ago. When we die, and meet with God face to face, we are shown two movies. One movie is the way our earthly life proceeded. The second movie is the way our life would have proceeded had we lived up to our God-gifted potential and done the important work God sent us here to do.
I made up my mind the day I read that story that the two movies God shows me will be identical.
What about you? Life here is finite. Lessons are to be learned and incorporated in each forward step so as to live wisely, on purpose in service. In the time allotted you, however long it may be, be wise, live richly and act compassionately. Here's what I now know--on a deeper level--is of utmost importance, and what I have re-committed myself to doing as a result of sitting before a coffin:
Be ever mindful of what is most important to you each day that God's sun shines upon your head in this natural world.
I thank God for you,
Valerie Love
Compassionate
Warm smile
Humble
Never complained
Healer
Kind
Polite
Soft-spoken
Kind and meek, yet powerful
Quiet confidence
Warm smile
Humble
Never complained
Healer
Kind
Polite
Soft-spoken
Kind and meek, yet powerful
Quiet confidence
The comments were consistent from everyone who spoke about him; family, friends, co-workers and the health ministry at church. They all said the same things, while those who knew him nodded their heads in agreement.
This man was a kind, compassionate, confident, humble and gifted healer.
He lived well.
The pastor who conducted the service spoke of Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In that work, Dr. Covey asks us to picture the day we will be eulogized. The exercise is sobering, especially when sitting before a coffin.
What will people say about you when you're gone?
Dr. Covey's point in offering the exercise is that there is often a great divide between what we hold as important and what we actually do on a daily basis. You may say that living on purpose is important to you, yet you work at a job that's far removed from doing what you love. There's little lasting satisfaction in that, which is how most folks live.
Sitting before a coffin is at once life-affirming and thought-provoking.
What am I doing with my life?
What destiny am I creating?
What legacy am I leaving?
Who will be different because I was here?
To whom am I offering myself?
Whose life am I helping to transform?
How am I contributing to the evolution of human consciousness?
What destiny am I creating?
What legacy am I leaving?
Who will be different because I was here?
To whom am I offering myself?
Whose life am I helping to transform?
How am I contributing to the evolution of human consciousness?
In my book, I write about a story I read a while ago. When we die, and meet with God face to face, we are shown two movies. One movie is the way our earthly life proceeded. The second movie is the way our life would have proceeded had we lived up to our God-gifted potential and done the important work God sent us here to do.
I made up my mind the day I read that story that the two movies God shows me will be identical.
What about you? Life here is finite. Lessons are to be learned and incorporated in each forward step so as to live wisely, on purpose in service. In the time allotted you, however long it may be, be wise, live richly and act compassionately. Here's what I now know--on a deeper level--is of utmost importance, and what I have re-committed myself to doing as a result of sitting before a coffin:
Live your destiny; create a legacy.
Give much. Expect nothing in return.
(Service is often thankless.)
Be kind and compassionate to everyone.
Stand powerfully yet always remember to be humble.
Keep learning and growing.
Never give up.
Love deeply.
Judge not.
Forgive everyone for everything.
Forgive everyone for everything.
(Yes, I wrote it twice, I need the repetition.)
Offer praise and gratitude in great measure in every moment.
Live in the present moment, you are not assured of waking up tomorrow.
Just a few short days ago, Alphonso laid across his bed and never woke up. His next stop was God's bosom. One day, you too will walk away with the Angel of death.Give much. Expect nothing in return.
(Service is often thankless.)
Be kind and compassionate to everyone.
Stand powerfully yet always remember to be humble.
Keep learning and growing.
Never give up.
Love deeply.
Judge not.
Forgive everyone for everything.
Forgive everyone for everything.
(Yes, I wrote it twice, I need the repetition.)
Offer praise and gratitude in great measure in every moment.
Live in the present moment, you are not assured of waking up tomorrow.
Be ever mindful of what is most important to you each day that God's sun shines upon your head in this natural world.
I thank God for you,
Valerie Love
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A river of tears in heaven
My e-mail address is in my book, so I often get e-mails from readers. This morning I wrote a response to a reader who commented on how much she loved the book (God Speaks to Me
) and asked several questions related to her situation (the details of which I won't go into here for purposes of confidentiality). Suffice it to say that her life was topsy-turvy, with lots of things that she didn't want. Her pain was palpable.
As I wrote to her, I recalled what came to me this morning:
When the idea came to me this morning, that my every tear was collected by an angel, I was instantly comforted, and relieved. I was a little awe-struck too. How could that be?
God is listening after all. Always.
God sees every tear, and dispatches an angel to collect it. Every tear is precious. No tear that has ever fallen from a human eye has been missed. Each tear has been carefully and lovingly collected and dutifully delivered to the river of tears which flows in heaven.
How awesome is that?
How loving is that?
The depth of love in this knowing is unfathomable by the human mind. Suffice it to say that we are each and all deeply loved. Even when the tears are flowing, even when the pain is searing, we are each and all deeply loved.
And each time we shed a tear, angels are standing by to collect each one.
You never cry in vain. You are heard. You are comforted and surrounded by the awesome band of tear collectors who have never missed a tear yet and never will.
This is awesome to even write about, even more to know that it has been my actual experience and the experience of every human being who has ever lived. We are loved to that extent and beyond.
When you think you are alone in the night when your tears fall heavy upon the pillow, remember, you are not.
With great loving care, God's tear collectors are there.
God bless you,
Valerie Love
) and asked several questions related to her situation (the details of which I won't go into here for purposes of confidentiality). Suffice it to say that her life was topsy-turvy, with lots of things that she didn't want. Her pain was palpable.As I wrote to her, I recalled what came to me this morning:
Every tear that has ever been shed by
every human being is collected by an angel
and delivered to God, where it is gently placed
in a river of tears in heaven.
every human being is collected by an angel
and delivered to God, where it is gently placed
in a river of tears in heaven.
When the idea came to me this morning, that my every tear was collected by an angel, I was instantly comforted, and relieved. I was a little awe-struck too. How could that be?
God is listening after all. Always.
God sees every tear, and dispatches an angel to collect it. Every tear is precious. No tear that has ever fallen from a human eye has been missed. Each tear has been carefully and lovingly collected and dutifully delivered to the river of tears which flows in heaven.
How awesome is that?
How loving is that?
The depth of love in this knowing is unfathomable by the human mind. Suffice it to say that we are each and all deeply loved. Even when the tears are flowing, even when the pain is searing, we are each and all deeply loved.
And each time we shed a tear, angels are standing by to collect each one.
Your every tear has been attended to by its own angel on a journey to the river of tears in heaven.
You never cry in vain. You are heard. You are comforted and surrounded by the awesome band of tear collectors who have never missed a tear yet and never will.
This is awesome to even write about, even more to know that it has been my actual experience and the experience of every human being who has ever lived. We are loved to that extent and beyond.
When you think you are alone in the night when your tears fall heavy upon the pillow, remember, you are not.
With great loving care, God's tear collectors are there.
God bless you,
Valerie Love
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
A fish out of water
Today, while walking the pier with my 7-year-old daughter Varonika, we caught a glimpse of an unusual experience for us.
There were people on the pier fishing, as usual. The difference is that this time, one of the lines that was in the water was yanking this way and that. The man whose line it belonged to jumped up and ran over. Much to his surprise, there was a huge catfish on the line, thrashing about in the water in a vain attempt to get free. The other people who were on the pier near him ran over, sensing something big. We ran over too, because it looked like he and his friend were shocked at what they were looking at over the edge.
He hesitated to pull the line in because he thought it would break under the weight of the big fish. The pier is about 10-12 feet above the water. His concern was understandable. After all, he'd have to pull the big fish up ever so carefully in order not to break the line.
With encouragement from the others, one of whom said "I knew I should have bought my net!" he was able to gingerly and gently lift the fish out of the bay without breaking his line. Cheers followed. Everyone was excited. The fishermen who had gathered stood marveling at how the hook was in the fish's mouth. I didn't know what they were talking about. I don't fish.
Anyway, Varonika and I had an interesting experience on our morning walk.
It got me to thinking about what I read in the Bible book of Matthew just the other day. Soon after being baptized, Jesus went to the sea where he saw two fishermen, Simon Peter and his brother Andrew, casting their nets. He said to them,
It's intriguing to me that,
Just like that. No questions asked. No explanations needed. No, "I'll get back to you Jesus, let me check in at home with the family, have a chat with my friends to see if being your disciple is a good idea..."
He asked, they answered. That's big.
I think I'm more like the catfish I saw this morning being pulled from the bay kicking and screaming. I know I have an invitation from the Lord. The invitation is to come home, to be a disciple of truth, which will enable me to live an exceedingly better life, following the path of love and compassion set by Christ.
Yet, I'm not always willing. I'm reluctant to leave my surroundings, even when I'm being drawn higher. When I've been hooked and engaged by the most masterful Fisherman of them all, I try to pull away, break free and swim in the other direction. The difference is that the Great Fisherman is drawing me to life. The hook is the hold God has on me and won't ever let go of. I feel the gentle pull, drawing me higher ever so gently and gingerly, yet I still find myself sometimes resisting, even in the presence of my deep desire and longing to draw closer.
I'm only fighting myself. I'm a fish out of water, flipping and flapping around, just like the catfish.
When I try, in a vain attempt, to resist the upward pull of Life, the invitation, the draw to higher living, I suffer. I'm a fish out of water.
When I respond to the invitation to come up higher, to come to a new level of living, to draw closer to the Omnipotent One, I prosper and thrive.
Yes, seeing that catfish thrashing about today taught me something. I'll remember him the next time I find myself putting up resistance to the upward pull of Life.
Love,
Valerie
There were people on the pier fishing, as usual. The difference is that this time, one of the lines that was in the water was yanking this way and that. The man whose line it belonged to jumped up and ran over. Much to his surprise, there was a huge catfish on the line, thrashing about in the water in a vain attempt to get free. The other people who were on the pier near him ran over, sensing something big. We ran over too, because it looked like he and his friend were shocked at what they were looking at over the edge.
He hesitated to pull the line in because he thought it would break under the weight of the big fish. The pier is about 10-12 feet above the water. His concern was understandable. After all, he'd have to pull the big fish up ever so carefully in order not to break the line.
With encouragement from the others, one of whom said "I knew I should have bought my net!" he was able to gingerly and gently lift the fish out of the bay without breaking his line. Cheers followed. Everyone was excited. The fishermen who had gathered stood marveling at how the hook was in the fish's mouth. I didn't know what they were talking about. I don't fish.
Anyway, Varonika and I had an interesting experience on our morning walk.
It got me to thinking about what I read in the Bible book of Matthew just the other day. Soon after being baptized, Jesus went to the sea where he saw two fishermen, Simon Peter and his brother Andrew, casting their nets. He said to them,
"Come after Me [as disciples--letting me be your Guide],
follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men!"
(Matthew 4:19 - AMP)
follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men!"
(Matthew 4:19 - AMP)
It's intriguing to me that,
"At once they left their nets and became His disciples..."
Just like that. No questions asked. No explanations needed. No, "I'll get back to you Jesus, let me check in at home with the family, have a chat with my friends to see if being your disciple is a good idea..."
He asked, they answered. That's big.
I think I'm more like the catfish I saw this morning being pulled from the bay kicking and screaming. I know I have an invitation from the Lord. The invitation is to come home, to be a disciple of truth, which will enable me to live an exceedingly better life, following the path of love and compassion set by Christ.
Yet, I'm not always willing. I'm reluctant to leave my surroundings, even when I'm being drawn higher. When I've been hooked and engaged by the most masterful Fisherman of them all, I try to pull away, break free and swim in the other direction. The difference is that the Great Fisherman is drawing me to life. The hook is the hold God has on me and won't ever let go of. I feel the gentle pull, drawing me higher ever so gently and gingerly, yet I still find myself sometimes resisting, even in the presence of my deep desire and longing to draw closer.
I'm only fighting myself. I'm a fish out of water, flipping and flapping around, just like the catfish.
When I try, in a vain attempt, to resist the upward pull of Life, the invitation, the draw to higher living, I suffer. I'm a fish out of water.
When I respond to the invitation to come up higher, to come to a new level of living, to draw closer to the Omnipotent One, I prosper and thrive.
Yes, seeing that catfish thrashing about today taught me something. I'll remember him the next time I find myself putting up resistance to the upward pull of Life.
Love,
Valerie
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
90% Process, 10% Payoff
Today I was talking with a coaching client when the subject of process came up. Something came to me that I thought I'd write about here:
I'll be climbing Mount Kilamanjaro in February of 2009. It would be wise for me to prepare in advance for the climb. When mountain climbers decide to take on a particular mountain, preparation is essential to a successful climb.
The preparation to climb a mountain make take months, or even years, yet the peak moment, the payoff for all the hard work, lasts for but a moment. The time spent on top of the mountain celebrating is minuscule in comparison to the time it took to prepare for that payoff moment.
The same is true with any great endeavor we undertake. The process is probably 90% of the time, energy and work involved in the project, while the time actually spent at the end result, that peak moment, the pinnacle of success, the payoff for all the hard work, is only about 10%.
An Olympian prepares for years to stand on the tallest box in the middle for a few minutes with a gold medal around his/her neck. The time spent in process was years, the time spent at the pinnacle a few minutes.
Sure, there's lifetime bragging rights that come with each pinnacle moment, especially the ones we deem big. The gold-medal-winning Olympian only stands on the tallest box for a few minutes, yet he/she gets to talk about that moment for life.
Anyway, looking at life as being 90% process and 10% payoff has several advantages:
When we try to rush through our process to get to the end result, we miss valuable lessons and gifts along the way. Remember,
Today, enjoy the process.
To your success,
Valerie Love
Life is 90% process and 10% payoff.
I'll be climbing Mount Kilamanjaro in February of 2009. It would be wise for me to prepare in advance for the climb. When mountain climbers decide to take on a particular mountain, preparation is essential to a successful climb.
The preparation to climb a mountain make take months, or even years, yet the peak moment, the payoff for all the hard work, lasts for but a moment. The time spent on top of the mountain celebrating is minuscule in comparison to the time it took to prepare for that payoff moment.
The same is true with any great endeavor we undertake. The process is probably 90% of the time, energy and work involved in the project, while the time actually spent at the end result, that peak moment, the pinnacle of success, the payoff for all the hard work, is only about 10%.
An Olympian prepares for years to stand on the tallest box in the middle for a few minutes with a gold medal around his/her neck. The time spent in process was years, the time spent at the pinnacle a few minutes.
Sure, there's lifetime bragging rights that come with each pinnacle moment, especially the ones we deem big. The gold-medal-winning Olympian only stands on the tallest box for a few minutes, yet he/she gets to talk about that moment for life.
Anyway, looking at life as being 90% process and 10% payoff has several advantages:
- The process can be considered enjoyable (considering we'll spend most of life in process) and engaged in with greater enthusiasm, rather than being viewed as necessary steps to finish as quickly as possible so we can get to where we're going. Each step in the process holds a gem especially meant for our growth and learning. We miss these gems when we're tied up in anxious anticipation of the outcome. Waiting in the grocery store line behind the slowest people in the world can be a stressful experience when all focus is on trying to get out of the store and on to the next thing as fast as humanly possible. Another approach is to ask (in the middle of feeling impatient with the senior citizen who wants to pay by check) what am I learning here? How can I be more conscious and present in this right now moment? Perhaps someone needs a smile, or a prayer. When we are present in the right now moment, we are conscious enough to look around and determine what's needed right then.We get to be fully present to the inner voice of wisdom and guidance that may be offering something valuable in that moment and we come to focus our attention and energies on what's happening in the present moment without rushing ahead to outcomes.
- Speaking of outcomes, we're not overly attached to them when we enjoy and embrace our process. Attachments beget suffering.
- The process creates character, which is the real goal. The other tangible goals we set up for ourselves are simply temporary markers to let us know how well our process is working.
When we try to rush through our process to get to the end result, we miss valuable lessons and gifts along the way. Remember,
Life is 90% process and 10% payoff.
Today, enjoy the process.
To your success,
Valerie Love
Monday, July 28, 2008
Death is simply transition
Over the weekend, I received news that a friend's husband had passed, which was surprising to her because he'd been recovering from cancer treatment. In a sense, the guards were down and relief had set in when the determination was made by his doctors that he was cancer-free. His transition was most unexpected.
Why does news of a death bring back memories of other deaths? Why did I begin instantly thinking about my grandmother, who transitioned out of this life almost two years ago? I went right into sadness, not as much for my friend's husband as for myself and the transitions I've witnessed, and the memories that came rushing back.
When a surprising death catches us unawares, what surfaces, in addition to sadness, is the unanswerable question: why?
Which is not even a fair question, but in times such as these, fairness is not a consideration. Life isn't fair. And death isn't either.
Why? I don't know. I don't know why people go and why they go when they go. I wish I knew. Just when things seemed to be going well, and life seemed to be giving him another chance, the Angel of death came to visit.
The saving grace is trust; trust in the divine order of all happenings, trust in the perfect outworking of Life and trust in the Wisdom inherent in all things, people, places and situations. Always trusting that there is absolutely a layer of silver under every cloud, even when I don't see it and even when no hint of its existence is present.
Trust and faith are the twin pillars which keep me sane, hopeful and centered when the unexpected, unknown and unwanted strikes.
I trust. I really do. I want to trust even more. Trust pulls me through much, and it is God's saving grace for me now.
Trust informs that death is simply transition. There is no non-existence, there is simply transition from one way of being (physicality) back into another way of being (spirituality). Everyone is energy, and energy can never die. It simply changes form.
Today we trust the supreme wisdom, love and beauty of the life to death transition process. It is a process as necessary as eating and sleeping. This process of changing from one form to another--the transition process--is the stuff of life. We are all engaged in the ongoing beautiful process of transitioning from one form to another. Each day, we get a little closer to the day when we will transition out of physical being and back into the spiritual dimension.
It is necessary.
And it is inevitable.
Since our time in this earth school is finite, while we're here, we had better make it good. We have the opportunity now, while still brimming with life, to make a good name, to leave a legacy, so that when we are no longer in bodily form, what we've created lives on, ever enriching lives.
A wise king once said:
Today we mourn.
Yet we remember the man, the good name and we remember the love.
And we trust, knowing that death is simply transition. No one is lost in the mind of God. There is only Life.
For this we are so grateful, Amen.
Blessings,
Valerie Love
Why does news of a death bring back memories of other deaths? Why did I begin instantly thinking about my grandmother, who transitioned out of this life almost two years ago? I went right into sadness, not as much for my friend's husband as for myself and the transitions I've witnessed, and the memories that came rushing back.
When a surprising death catches us unawares, what surfaces, in addition to sadness, is the unanswerable question: why?
Which is not even a fair question, but in times such as these, fairness is not a consideration. Life isn't fair. And death isn't either.
Why? I don't know. I don't know why people go and why they go when they go. I wish I knew. Just when things seemed to be going well, and life seemed to be giving him another chance, the Angel of death came to visit.
The saving grace is trust; trust in the divine order of all happenings, trust in the perfect outworking of Life and trust in the Wisdom inherent in all things, people, places and situations. Always trusting that there is absolutely a layer of silver under every cloud, even when I don't see it and even when no hint of its existence is present.
Trust and faith are the twin pillars which keep me sane, hopeful and centered when the unexpected, unknown and unwanted strikes.
I trust. I really do. I want to trust even more. Trust pulls me through much, and it is God's saving grace for me now.
Trust informs that death is simply transition. There is no non-existence, there is simply transition from one way of being (physicality) back into another way of being (spirituality). Everyone is energy, and energy can never die. It simply changes form.
Today we trust the supreme wisdom, love and beauty of the life to death transition process. It is a process as necessary as eating and sleeping. This process of changing from one form to another--the transition process--is the stuff of life. We are all engaged in the ongoing beautiful process of transitioning from one form to another. Each day, we get a little closer to the day when we will transition out of physical being and back into the spiritual dimension.
It is necessary.
And it is inevitable.
Since our time in this earth school is finite, while we're here, we had better make it good. We have the opportunity now, while still brimming with life, to make a good name, to leave a legacy, so that when we are no longer in bodily form, what we've created lives on, ever enriching lives.
A wise king once said:
"A good name is better than precious perfume,
and the day of death better than
the day of one's birth."
and the day of death better than
the day of one's birth."
Today we mourn.
Yet we remember the man, the good name and we remember the love.
And we trust, knowing that death is simply transition. No one is lost in the mind of God. There is only Life.
For this we are so grateful, Amen.
Blessings,
Valerie Love
Friday, July 25, 2008
Persistence Overrides Ineptitude
"Persistence overrides ineptitude," I said to a good friend of mine tonight who was disenchanted with an error his publishing company had made with his most recent book. Thankfully, the book hasn't been printed yet and he can get the error corrected before the book goes to print.
We laughed at the statement when I made it, and he said he might even post it up as a reminder. It's a good reminder for me too, persistence overrides ineptitude.
It got me to thinking about my role in creating reality and how it sometimes becomes easy for me to blame folks for the things they do that I don't like, yet I have the power and ability to change my world anytime I want. We can change anything we want, just by deciding and taking conscious action.
With my friend's book, an error was made that he caught and is able to have corrected. The same is true of everyday experiences. Though folks can do things we don't like, and we spot ineptitude, our persistence in pursuing a life of excellence calls folks around us to a higher standard. When people learn that it's not okay to slip and slide around us (like the publishing company is learning with my friend) they come up to the higher standard we've set, or they leave.
Either way, we create our experience, and we are always empowered to call people to a higher level, even when they've been used to operating in ways that don't bring out their best. We've all been in situations where the folks we were dealing with were accustomed to lower standards, yet we wanted to raise the standard. In those moments, we have choices. Do we allow the slippage, or do we set a higher standard, hold ourselves to it and then hold others to it also? The latter requires more effort, but it's always worth it.
I find it's easier for me to slip when I'm around other slippery people. When I'm around people who I know are not slippery, who hold a high standard for their experience, who have a habit of walking in excellence, I do better. I'm called to a higher standard, and I rise to the occasion. Hence the need to hold a high standard for our choice of associates and friends.
What kind of standard do you have for yourself? Are you committed to excellence in all you do? Remember, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Low standards don't operate in a vacuum, they're pervasive. If you've got a low standards in one arena of life, they're lurking in other areas too.
I love what Tony Robbins says about standards. Just raise em. Just raise your standards. You can do it anytime you want. Most of us don't raise our standards until we encounter so much pain that we're forced to reconsider our approach. You don't have to be forced into raising your standards because of pain. You can choose to raise your standards in any area where you'd like to be more, do more, have more.
Hold a high standard for yourself and for what you'll allow in your world. Then be persistent with yourself in holding to the new higher standard, while being confident that you and everyone around you will benefit from higher living.
Be blessed,
Valerie Love
We laughed at the statement when I made it, and he said he might even post it up as a reminder. It's a good reminder for me too, persistence overrides ineptitude.
It got me to thinking about my role in creating reality and how it sometimes becomes easy for me to blame folks for the things they do that I don't like, yet I have the power and ability to change my world anytime I want. We can change anything we want, just by deciding and taking conscious action.
With my friend's book, an error was made that he caught and is able to have corrected. The same is true of everyday experiences. Though folks can do things we don't like, and we spot ineptitude, our persistence in pursuing a life of excellence calls folks around us to a higher standard. When people learn that it's not okay to slip and slide around us (like the publishing company is learning with my friend) they come up to the higher standard we've set, or they leave.
Either way, we create our experience, and we are always empowered to call people to a higher level, even when they've been used to operating in ways that don't bring out their best. We've all been in situations where the folks we were dealing with were accustomed to lower standards, yet we wanted to raise the standard. In those moments, we have choices. Do we allow the slippage, or do we set a higher standard, hold ourselves to it and then hold others to it also? The latter requires more effort, but it's always worth it.
I find it's easier for me to slip when I'm around other slippery people. When I'm around people who I know are not slippery, who hold a high standard for their experience, who have a habit of walking in excellence, I do better. I'm called to a higher standard, and I rise to the occasion. Hence the need to hold a high standard for our choice of associates and friends.
What kind of standard do you have for yourself? Are you committed to excellence in all you do? Remember, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Low standards don't operate in a vacuum, they're pervasive. If you've got a low standards in one arena of life, they're lurking in other areas too.
I love what Tony Robbins says about standards. Just raise em. Just raise your standards. You can do it anytime you want. Most of us don't raise our standards until we encounter so much pain that we're forced to reconsider our approach. You don't have to be forced into raising your standards because of pain. You can choose to raise your standards in any area where you'd like to be more, do more, have more.
Persistence overrides ineptitude and it overrides slipperiness too.
Hold a high standard for yourself and for what you'll allow in your world. Then be persistent with yourself in holding to the new higher standard, while being confident that you and everyone around you will benefit from higher living.
Be blessed,
Valerie Love
Thursday, July 24, 2008
7 Unmistakable Characteristics of Intuition
Today I received an e-mail from someone who had read my book, enjoyed it and had a question I hear often. My book is about how to listen to the still small voice within and presents true stories of what happens when we do, and when we don't.
Here's the question (paraphrased): how do I know when it's my intuition sending me a message and not some other random voice in my head? Very good question, considering the sheer volume of inner voices that can be speaking at any given time.
After considering the question and how best to answer it, I came up with this list based upon how I've worked with my intuition over the years. (Do the same thing here that you do at the buffet, take what you like and leave the rest.)
7 Unmistakable Characteristics of Intuition
1. Less is More. Intuition is brief. No long explanations are involved. Intuition doesn't usually present methodologies and full strategies in one instance. Though it's true that a whole picture can unfold over time from your intuition, one tiny bit of information can be more powerful and profound than a mountain of data. Intuition tends to work on the less-is-more principle. For instance, you might be getting dressed in the morning and receive the message, "don't wear those shoes." You wear them anyway and later on, the heel breaks.
You didn't receive a full explanation of why the shoes weren't a good choice, yet paying attention to that tiny bit of information would have been wise.
2. Fast. Intuition is swift and can be fleeting, like a wink. It arrives quickly, seemingly out of nowhere. Practicing the art of staying fully present in each moment sharpens the ability to decipher intuition's quick messages. The intuitive hit can come so quickly that if we're not paying attention, we could miss it. The idea of "get your keys" can come and go so quickly that we barely notice it. Later, when the keys are locked in the car, the thought we had earlier comes back. Something told me to get my keys!
3. Accurate and trustworthy. Intuition is always accurate. Never has it failed me when I followed it. I read in a magazine article lately that Oprah credits much of her success to following her gut. She has great instincts, and she's great at following them, even when they don't seem to make sense. The same is true of Donald Trump. He states that if a deal doesn't feel right, he doesn't do it, no matter how good the numbers look on paper.
When an uneasy feeling arises about a new person, there's a reason. Heed it. You don't need to know why you're having the feeling. Trust its accuracy and act accordingly. You'll find out more later, if necessary.
4. Accompanied by a bodily sensation. I get a tingly feeling with some intuitive hits. The palms may tingle, or perhaps there's a tingle in the head or up the spine. Pay close attention to what information is suddenly coming to you while you simultaneously pay attention to the feeling in the body that accompanies it.
5. The information provided is not derived from the 5 senses. Knowing something without knowing how we know is one way intuition shows its independence from the 5 senses. Intuitive information doesn't originate with the 5 senses, which is why intuition has been called the 6th sense. For example, did the shoes look like the heel would break? Could you feel the problem with your hands? Probably not if you decided to put them on. Yet, on some level, you knew not to wear the shoes.
Does the person you're just meeting look like an ax murderer? Maybe not. He or she may look and sound like a well groomed, well put together kind of person, yet there's something there, just beneath the surface. I can't put my finger on it, but something's just not right. That knowing is intuitive information arising spontaneously from within, independent of the 5 senses, and sometimes contrary to them. It's what gets us into trouble when we choose a partner that looks, feels, smells and sounds good, even though the inner knowing is saying STAY AWAY!
6. Memorable. After the fact, we remember the guidance received on a particular issue (usually when we're experiencing the negative results of not listening to the guidance). Whether we follow it or not, we remember the guidance, which gives us the opportunity to pay closer attention the next time and practice getting better at heeding the intuitive voice.
Bonus: Here's an eighth one...
8. Beneficent. There is only good and all good associated with both receiving intuitive guidance and heeding the voice of intuition, for you and everyone else involved. The information is always pertinent, beneficial and protective when heeded.
Today, listen to your intuition, no matter how far-fetched or contrary to the 5 senses the information seems. It will pay off handsomely, I promise.
Blessings,
Valerie Love
Here's the question (paraphrased): how do I know when it's my intuition sending me a message and not some other random voice in my head? Very good question, considering the sheer volume of inner voices that can be speaking at any given time.
After considering the question and how best to answer it, I came up with this list based upon how I've worked with my intuition over the years. (Do the same thing here that you do at the buffet, take what you like and leave the rest.)
7 Unmistakable Characteristics of Intuition
1. Less is More. Intuition is brief. No long explanations are involved. Intuition doesn't usually present methodologies and full strategies in one instance. Though it's true that a whole picture can unfold over time from your intuition, one tiny bit of information can be more powerful and profound than a mountain of data. Intuition tends to work on the less-is-more principle. For instance, you might be getting dressed in the morning and receive the message, "don't wear those shoes." You wear them anyway and later on, the heel breaks.
You didn't receive a full explanation of why the shoes weren't a good choice, yet paying attention to that tiny bit of information would have been wise.
2. Fast. Intuition is swift and can be fleeting, like a wink. It arrives quickly, seemingly out of nowhere. Practicing the art of staying fully present in each moment sharpens the ability to decipher intuition's quick messages. The intuitive hit can come so quickly that if we're not paying attention, we could miss it. The idea of "get your keys" can come and go so quickly that we barely notice it. Later, when the keys are locked in the car, the thought we had earlier comes back. Something told me to get my keys!
3. Accurate and trustworthy. Intuition is always accurate. Never has it failed me when I followed it. I read in a magazine article lately that Oprah credits much of her success to following her gut. She has great instincts, and she's great at following them, even when they don't seem to make sense. The same is true of Donald Trump. He states that if a deal doesn't feel right, he doesn't do it, no matter how good the numbers look on paper.
When an uneasy feeling arises about a new person, there's a reason. Heed it. You don't need to know why you're having the feeling. Trust its accuracy and act accordingly. You'll find out more later, if necessary.
4. Accompanied by a bodily sensation. I get a tingly feeling with some intuitive hits. The palms may tingle, or perhaps there's a tingle in the head or up the spine. Pay close attention to what information is suddenly coming to you while you simultaneously pay attention to the feeling in the body that accompanies it.
5. The information provided is not derived from the 5 senses. Knowing something without knowing how we know is one way intuition shows its independence from the 5 senses. Intuitive information doesn't originate with the 5 senses, which is why intuition has been called the 6th sense. For example, did the shoes look like the heel would break? Could you feel the problem with your hands? Probably not if you decided to put them on. Yet, on some level, you knew not to wear the shoes.
Does the person you're just meeting look like an ax murderer? Maybe not. He or she may look and sound like a well groomed, well put together kind of person, yet there's something there, just beneath the surface. I can't put my finger on it, but something's just not right. That knowing is intuitive information arising spontaneously from within, independent of the 5 senses, and sometimes contrary to them. It's what gets us into trouble when we choose a partner that looks, feels, smells and sounds good, even though the inner knowing is saying STAY AWAY!
6. Memorable. After the fact, we remember the guidance received on a particular issue (usually when we're experiencing the negative results of not listening to the guidance). Whether we follow it or not, we remember the guidance, which gives us the opportunity to pay closer attention the next time and practice getting better at heeding the intuitive voice.
7. Becomes more influential with a relationship. When you begin to commune with the inner you that's wise and knowing, you build a relationship, a friendship that can guide you through anything. It becomes a sure beacon. The relationship with your intuition is nurtured just as any other relationship is: through connection (which can be done in meditative states) communing, trust, and paying close attention to what you receive so as to implement it for the highest good. It's like having a wise friend who always knows and who's job is to tip you off to anything that might go awry--before it happens, support you in making every decision, give you guidance in every life arena, inspire you with ideas to live your destiny, and so much more, all executed in a personalized manner and in a voice you can understand, your own.
Bonus: Here's an eighth one...
8. Beneficent. There is only good and all good associated with both receiving intuitive guidance and heeding the voice of intuition, for you and everyone else involved. The information is always pertinent, beneficial and protective when heeded.
Today, listen to your intuition, no matter how far-fetched or contrary to the 5 senses the information seems. It will pay off handsomely, I promise.
Blessings,
Valerie Love
Quote for the day from James Allen
Today's quote is on self-control:
Source: The Wisdom of James Allen edited by Andy Zubko; Publisher: Laurel Creek Press. The Wisdom of James Allen : Including As a Man Thinketh, The Path to Prosperity, The Mastery of Destiny, The Way of Peace, and Entering the Kingdom (Radiant Life)
This is one of my favorite books by one of my favorite writers. James Allen is the author of As A Man Thinketh. (This book contains 5 of Allen's works in one handy and fairly small sized volume.)
As we master ourselves, we master our world.
Blessings,
Valerie Love
"...a man is great in knowledge, great in himself,
and great in his influence on the world,
in the measure that he is great in self-control."
and great in his influence on the world,
in the measure that he is great in self-control."
Source: The Wisdom of James Allen edited by Andy Zubko; Publisher: Laurel Creek Press. The Wisdom of James Allen : Including As a Man Thinketh, The Path to Prosperity, The Mastery of Destiny, The Way of Peace, and Entering the Kingdom (Radiant Life)
This is one of my favorite books by one of my favorite writers. James Allen is the author of As A Man Thinketh. (This book contains 5 of Allen's works in one handy and fairly small sized volume.)
As we master ourselves, we master our world.
Blessings,
Valerie Love
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